ESTP: super attractive physically but it’s all downhill from there. never quite know what they’re going to do next but you can probably bet it will be irresponsible. somehow still lovable.
ESTJ: loud, logical, and get shit done — they are the warrior class of the life rpg. power stats make them unbeatable and if you encounter one, maybe just curl up and forfeit, to save time.
ESFP: giggly little shits. fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away. great for lifting your mood, not that great at lifting your credit score.
ESFJ: too appropriate, totally lacking in awkwardness. they’ll never forget your birthday, which will make you feel like shit when you constantly forget theirs.
ENTP: excellent companions if you enjoy people who instantly see through all your shit. very clever and very intuitive, you can’t fool them. i suggest you invest in other friends — ones you *can* fool.
ENTJ: impatient with people who make mistakes, namely, everyone. they’ll respect you if you stand up to them but why do that when you can run away instead. cuddle them and see what happens. i’m curious.
ENFP: too puppy to live. best suited for the profession of musical nanny. not advised for use around an open flame.
ENFJ: way too charming and capable, maybe they should stop making everyone else look bad. prone to making other people care about stuff they didn’t want to care about. so annoying.
ISTP: such butts. best suited for an apocalypse scenario, if no such scenario exists, they will create danger because they get bored. don’t encourage them, but don’t discourage them, as reverse psychology works too well.
ISTJ: low drama and low maintenance, best value at this price tier. best suited to actual human existence. least weird, which makes them kinda weird.
ISFP: squishy little darlings you might want to keep in your pocket, but please don’t or they will become forlorn. they notice everything, and it’s unnerving.
ISFJ: quietly and proudly do things for others. if you have a ring you need to deliver to mordor, take an ISFJ along with you for best results.
INTP: cute intergalactic spiders you want to hug and mistrust. prone to making you laugh but then days later you will wonder whether you were the butt of the joke.
INTJ: major dicks and kinda proud of it. prone to being right. prone to liking trance music way too much. all the ones i’ve ever met have been unexpectedly kinky. so i guess, expectedly.
INFP: they fall out of the sky and are raised by unicorns. if you feed one it will follow you home. they dissipate in water.
INFJ: chameleons appropriating your emotions and going quietly mad. prone to meltdowns and needing lots of naps.
Oh I remember. XD
As per an email I had marked out with a little star, Az and Zeph are both ISTJ, so they’re “least weird which makes them kinda weird” and “best suited to actual human existence” despite not being human or even spending all that much time with humans. They should go hang out in Assiah for a while because I guess they’d do fine there. XD
Nema and Uriel are both INFJ so I guess they’re “chameleons appropriating your emotions,” “prone to meltdowns???” XD I dunno, guys, I dunno. “Prone to meltdowns” works for them (especially seeing as Uriel’s got a quiet but explosive fuse when tapped, and Layers!Nema says it very succinctly) but I don’t see either of them as APPROPRIATING others’ emotions…???
Michael’s an ESTP, and I feel like it’s accurate all around. XD Especially the “never quite know what they’re going to do next but you can probably bet it will be irresponsible” and the “somehow still lovable” oh my God. SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW he’s still lovable, but fuck if anybody knows why. XD
Annnnd Lucifer’s an ENTJ, and the whole “they’ll respect you if you stand up to them but why do that when you can run away instead” is so perfect. XD
Mostly, though, I enjoy mine the most. “ENFJ: way too charming and capable, maybe they should stop making everyone else look bad. prone to making other people care about stuff they didn’t want to care about. so annoying.” BASICALLY I AM ANNOYING BECAUSE I AM PERFECT. YES, I AGREE WITH THIS. XD
Last Person That:
Slept in your bed besides you? The Honey
Saw you cry?: The Honey
You went to the movies with? The Honey
You went out to dinner with? The Honey
You talked on the phone to? Mama (What? Not the Honey?)
Made you laugh? Chocobean (if petsypets count, anyway. Pollen Head.)
Would You Rather:
Pierce your nose or your tongue? SEPTUMMM!!! (Um, nose.)
Be serious or be funny? Seriously funny~
Drink whole or skimmed milk? Had both and like both; not picky.
Die in a fire or drowning? Drowning, definitely. Fire’s more agonizing.
Spend time with your parent(s) or enemies? Parentals. I’ma only spend time with enemies if I’m eating them.
Simple or complicated? Complicated. ~Bullet wounds heal~ ~Hopes you get the reference~
Straight, gay or bisexual? Hearts?
Tall or short? Shortling~
Right handed or left handed? Leftie~
A lover of music or a lover of books? Lover of playing music while caressing books.
Do You Prefer?:
Flowers or sweets? Sweets, are you kidding me? I live for food. XD
Grey or black? Black.
Colour photos or black-and-white photos? Color photos. The more vibrant the better.
Sunrise or sunset? Sunset.
M&Ms or Skittles? M&Ms.
Staying up late or waking up early? Staying up late.
Sun or moon? Sun.
Winter or Autumn? Autumn.
10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? 2 besties. Which incidentally is what I have. XD
Rainy or sunny? Sunny.
Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? NEITHER. MINT-CHIP!!!
Vodka or Jack? Rum.
What time is it? My laptop says it’s 1:14PM but my phone says it’s 1:24PM, and I don’t know why my laptop is this way. Every time I fix it, it just begins to run slow again.
Nicknames? Bren. Just Bren. I used to have a huge list of nicknames, but these days everyone just calls me Bren.
When is your birthday? JULY 24TH; IT’S MY BIRTHMONTH!!!
What do you want? A better apartment run by a better management.
How many kids do you want? NONE.
What would you name a girl?: Probably Raquel, because that was one of the names I could have potentially been given. Raquel or Anna.
What would you name a boy? No idea. I like the sound of the name Lucas, though. Lucas or Will.
What kind of music do you like? That’s a really stupid question to ask me because I’ll listen to everything from screeching and growling metal music to aggressive hip hop to bouncy pop music to incredibly dramatic orchestral instrumentals. And probably other stuff, too.
Nervous habits? Jaw-clenching, apparently.
Are you double-jointed? No.
Can you roll your tongue? Yes.
Can you raise one eyebrow? Yes, but only the left one.
Can you cross your eyes? Yes.
Which shoe goes on first? The right one.
Ever thrown something at someone? Throwing’s for the weak. Ever spat on or bitten someone?
On average, how much money do you carry with you? I try to keep $10 on me.
What jewelry do you wear? My black titanium diamond-plated wedding band of indestructibility, and everything else changes out frequently. Neckwear is often either Die’s pick on a chain paired with a leather choker or my pearl B necklace paired with a pearl choker, but it’s not the rule. Only my ring is.
Do you twirl or cut spaghetti? Twirly-whirly~
Have you ever eaten Spam? Yup; it’s not my favorite but I don’t mind it, either.
Favourite ice cream? Mint-chip, now pay attention!
How many kinds of cereal are in your cupboard? 3.
Can you cook?: … Yes…? I don’t consider myself a master chef or anything, though.
Alcoholic beverage? White Merlot. Which is good, but doesn’t take much like merlot at ALL. It is quite fruity. XD
Car ride?: Uhhhhhh I think it was either to the bank or the grocery store. … Yes.
Song played? Oh no… My honest answer? COMEUPOUTDAWAHTA. IMGLISSININ~
Person you saw? My neighbor; he’s working on his car right now.
INFJ: Any given cryptic deep girl who is just misunderstood in a teen movie
ESTP: Any given bad boy in a teen movie
INTJ: Any given dark silent guy in a teen movie
ESFP: Any given flirty party girl in a teen movie
INFP: Any given geek in a teen movie
ESTJ: Any given overprotective dad in a teen movie
INTP: Any given quiet friend with a crush on the protagonist in a teen movie
ESFJ: Any given mom in a teen movie
ISFJ: Any given girl-next-door in a teen movie
ENTP: Any given likable troublemaker in a teen movie
ISTJ: Any given nerd in a teen movie
ENFP: Any given different, cool girl in a teen movie
ISFP: Any given chill mysterious girl in a teen movie
ENTJ: Any given powerful popular guy in a teen movie
ISTP: Any given sarcastic, witty best friend in a teen movie
ENFJ: Any given advice-giving parent figure in a teen movie
I am sorting this into my ‘domesticxult' tag because INFJ!Nema and ESTP!Michael is the best God damn THING!!!
pastel dragon lumberjack chic
…… Nailed it.
Bren: melancholic dragon retro judas
Brenda: cheap celestial nightmare nymph
Brenli: noir pixie domestic punk
Which fits better because I don’t know?
Western Zodiac: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
Chinese Zodiac: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Pig
Celtic Zodiac [x]: Birch (the Achiever),Rowan (the Thinker), Ash (the Enchanter), Alder (the Trailblazer), Willow (the Observer), Hawthorne (the Illusionist), Oak (the Stabilizer), Holly (the Ruler), Hazel (the Knower), Vine (the Equalizer), Ivy (the Survivor), Reed (the Inquisitor), Elder (the Seeker)
Myers-Briggs [x]: ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISFP, INFP, INTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ, ENTP
The Four Temperaments [x]: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine
Enneagram [x]: Type 1, Type 2, Type 3, Type 4, Type 5, Type 6, Type 7, Type 8, Type 9
Alignment [x]: Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, True Neutral, Lawful Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, Chaotic Evil
Soul type [x]: Sage, Server, Scholar, King, Artisan, Priest, Warrior (Yeahhhhh, I guess I tied for two. This is like the Slytherdor issue all over again…)
Hogwarts House [x, but Pottermore is better]: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin (I took the linked test though and seriously I got 86 for Gryffindor and 84 for Slytherin so it’s really close. Again. Like fucking ALWAYS. ~Slytherdor Forever~)
Blood Type*: A, B, AB, O.
*I don’t know how many people actually know anything about the whole Japanese blood type personality thing, but… Google it if you don’t know.
Basically I’m going to reblobble this every time I see something added to it that I didn’t see previously, adding anything that I don’t see on it that I did, before. XD