jaelly-bean asked: HERE IS YOUR RANDOM QUESTION (I'm passing them out, tonight. XD) : Can you think of a time when impossible became possible?
You’re asking me while I’m drunk A+ can’t claim me no sponseriliriessssss.
Um well you know how Mama had a stroke that put her in the hospital and legit the entire left side of her body was not functioning and the docs straight up told my Dad she might die and stuff
But then she started getting better and better and look at her now.
BADASS FUCKING WOMAN.
FUCKING SUPERHERO SHIT.
MEDICAL DRAMA STORY FOR ALL THE OTHER READERS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Also have had lots of weird housing situation last calls in recent years.
Like the one house catching fire and having to find a new house in a week and it was a close fucking call THAT WAS A GREAT TIME OH MY GOD MEMORIESSSSS.
Or in the last house when I was still in Oakland when we got unceremoniously slapped with a notice to GTFO but I had to be in Seattle for Celestey’s weddingu and I was super bugged out because the idea of coming back from a weddingu and being a couple days away from homelessness is SUPER UNCOOL
But then we made that arrangement with B and I essentially worked for her repairing the house we were simultaneously living in for reduced rent
And that whole arrangement literally fell together RIGHT BEFORE we left for Seattle. HYPERVENTILATIng
ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR the time when the former landlady was all “YOU OWE ME MONEY ALSO I WILL SUE YOU FOR HARASSMENT IF YOU ARGUE FURTHER” but then we took her to court and WE won (nurrmind we still haven’t seen the money I look forward to taking her back to court AGAINNNNNNN it’s gonna be so great!)
Being able to move to LA in GENERAL feels like a pipedream made real because you know SHITTY SUMMERRRRRRRRRR.
Taking scissors to my arms in an act of hopelessness and Mama being the badass woman she is and cleaning me up and holding me together and getting me the help that I needed so that I could feelllllll hope again that’s a big one that’s why nobody’s allowed to say or even fucking imply that Mama isn’t a good person/mother because HAHAH I WILL CUT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Honestly if I thought hard enough I could go on forever if I wanted to I am realizing this really rapidly
Because that is like
The basis of my entire life
My life is literally a series of what the fucks
That at the last possible second
And that is legit my life.
DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO ASK ME DEEP QUESTIONS WHILE I’M DRUNKLEMARSSSSSSS???
SEE??? I DO THIS ALL THE TIME! IT IS AN ISSUE! XD
Like OBVIOUSLY my theme is The Tudors themed but IT JUST WENT RIGHT OVER MY HEAD.
So hey obviously I am in The Tudors fandom. Also The Borgias fandom and I’m mourning like the majority of the others in that fandom. T~T
Interested in more historical fiction shows like these but haven’t taken the time to actually watch them. Yet. Maybe. I WANT to but. I keep doing other things instead. XD
Ughhhh let’s see, also Warehouse 13 and Defiance. But I need to get caught up on those I’m at least a couple episodes behind.
Also I watch Deadliest Catch. THAT’S RIGHT, I WATCH DEADLIEST CATCH. THIS IS THE ONLY KIND OF REALITY TV I CAN ACTUALLY STOMACH.
I’m sure there are TONS more but like earlier mentioned. I don’t often take an ACTIVE role in most fandoms. I’m like a ghostie girl quietly haunting most things. XD
papervoiced asked: I DON'T KNOW YOUR FANDOMS ANYMORE I'm a bad friend DD: but idk if there's one fandom I know we'll always share is Angel Sanctuary lmao (and can you imagine Setsuna in the Enterprise, that is comedy GOLD) although I would give a lot of money to see Captain Alexiel in commanding a Starfleet ship
ad;fjasd;lfjad JIIIIIIIIHYEEEEEEEEEEEE ~Desperate clinging~ WE CAN BE HORRIBLE FRIENDS TOGETHER. I’ve been pretty shitty at keeping in touch. T^T
True story, sometimes I don’t know what my OWN fandoms are. XD I have interest in a LOT of things/shows/books/peoples/etc. but I don’t take an ACTIVE role in the fanbases involved, a lot of times. I don’t know why. I guess it’s a mix of not making the time for it and being generally apprehensive of fandom wartimes. Please to not be having those~
BUT OH YES, NOBODY CAN DISPUTE THAT I AM A PART OF THE AS FANDOM. XD NOBODY. THAT’S AS OBVIOUS AS EVER.
The Star Trek fandom is one I’ve been in for a REALLYYYYY LONNNNNNNGU TIME, thanks to my Dad - we’d watch TOS together when I got back from school. Or, more like he’d watch TOS and I’d show up and watch with him because Spock is the best (though I probably identify more with McCoy~). I’m not always a particularly LOUD ST fan, but it’s dear to my heart and it’s always GOING to be.
BUT OH MAN. ASXST CROSSOVER.
I HOPE I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE CREAMING MYSELF LIKE A NERDY IDIOT RIGHT NOW. XD
Could you imagine thoughhhh??? The crew loses Captain Alexiel in the midst of battle with enemy ships commanded by Captain Rosiel.
She’s reincarnated into Setsuna, and EVERYONE - Alexiel’s crew AND Rosiel’s crew - find him, identify him, and start FIGHTING over him.
Meanwhile Setsuna’s wishing that his only issue was his incestuous love for his sister, BUT NO. THINGS JUST WENT INTERGALACTIC ON HIS ASS. XD
Eventuallyyyyyy Alexiel’s crew drags him onto their ship… I assume because Captain Rosiel and his crew kidnapped Sara? And threaten to kill her if Setsuna does not cooperate orrrrr?
Anyway, everyone is sort of foolishly hoping that Setsuna will sit right in the captain’s chair and it’ll be JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
OF COURSE, IT ISN’T. XD Setsuna has NO CLUE what he’s doing.
He’s got Uriel and Raziel and EVERYONE yelling at him and asking him what they should do.
Setsuna’s just flailing in the captain’s chair, “I DON’T KNOW! I HAVE NO IDEA! JUST DO SHIP THINGS! ALL THE SHIP THINGS!” Oh God Setsuna, you poor unassuming boy… XD
Meanwhile Uriel and Raziel are looking at each other and mumbling, “Maybe this is a mistake…”
But you know what? ZAPHKIEL STILL HAS FAITH IN SETSUNA! XD
Ugh, Alexiel’s gonna need to awaken within Setsuna ASAP, though. Or else that ship is just… gonna go SPIRALING off who KNOWS where. They’ll get sucked into a wormhole.
Suddenly they’re in the Hell Galaxy. Sheol Star System.
"ABORT MISSION. GET US OUT OF HERE."
The crew will be most relieved when Alexiel awakens and takes the reigns and just BARELY manages to save the ship and everyone onboard. “Things actually ran… EFFICIENTLY! It’s a MIRACLE!”
OH JIHYE I AM HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN WITH THISSSS!!! 8D
Trying to think of other relevant fandoms hmmmmm~
I haven’t taken an active part in the Dir en grey fanbase in what feels like forever, but they’re still my very most favorite band, and I’m always haunting the dir en grey tag on here and punching the like-heart on those posts.
Annnnd more recentlyish I integrated myself into the Supernatural fandom; I’m all caught up and awaiting Season 9 like everyone else. I haven’t posted anything regarding SPN since the Season 8 finale, but when I started watching I like… LIVEBLOGGED ALL OF IT, and tucked it into the liveblobble: spn tag. I fully anticipate making posts for each episode in Season 9, too. Because I have opinions. XD
(Fun fact: I remembered that I HAVE like, these HUGE lists of interests on my MySpace and wanted to access them to see if there might be anything that I deeply love but have forgotten about in the sea of all the OTHER interests, BUUUUUUT apparently MySpace went through ANOTHER site overhaul and from the looks of things, all of my profile information is GONE. -.- Same with messages I’d been saving in the inbox because I was using them as reference material for a NOVEL. FOR A NOVEL. WE’RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW ANNOYED I AM RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE I AM SUPER ANNOYED.)
aureliaxinverno asked: Write ten things about yourself and then send this to ten of your favourite followers :)
1.) I want to move in to a new place when the lease is up, but I doubt that I will, between the money and the fact that I’m STILL reeling from having to move three times over the course of a single summer.
2.) I want to get my cat Chocobean a friend. I feel bad because he grew up with feline company. He does well enough being the only pet in the house, now, but I can tell he’s still lonely from time to time.
3.) I am developing a tan line across my left shoulder because that’s where I always carry my bag when I head out for the day. I tried carrying my bag on my right shoulder today and it made me feel like the world had turned itself upside down.
4.) I get floored by random acts of kindness because I have hardly any faith in people, anymore. I’m trying to be better about that.
5.) I feel like that past two years have been perpetual wedding season. Not referring to the little slip of paper my honey and I signed. Friends and family over the past two years have been getting married left and right. I don’t know what it is. Sometimes I think it’s a biological clock thing. XD I’ve been pretty good about attending most of them, except for my one of my two besties (from what I understand it was a very small-scale thing and she doesn’t mind that I couldn’t attend), and one of my cousin’s, several months back. And now there’s another cousin getting married next month, and I doubt I’ll be able to make that one.
6.) Apparently there are people in my life who lovelovelove criticizing me, but they never do it to my face. They send it off to innocent third parties like they have to answer for it. It’s stupid and very disappointing, especially because I thought we were PAST this. Or at least actively choosing not to acknowledge it. ~Vague vague vague~
7.) I am finding that I have less time and less room in my heart for people who can’t own up to their mistakes, who are totally content in just pushing all the blame on other people, haaaaaaa~
8.) I have accepted the fact that I am probably never going to be forgiven. Not really.
9.) June 7th is my honey’s birthday and I have no idea what I’m going to do for him. He’ll be out on a gig all day, anyway, but…
10.) Speak ill of my Mama and you will unleash a lion in me.
Rule 1: always post the rules.
Rule 2: answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write 11 new ones.
Rule 3: tag 11 new people and link them to your post.
Rule 4: let them know you’ve tagged them.
What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
Do you tan easily?
What is your favorite show to watch?
What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
What was in your last meal?
Do you sing?
Do you wear necklaces?
How many piercings do you have (if any)?
Do you blush easily?
Have you ever broken a bone?
Are you an artist/writer?
Do you play an instrument?
Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Do you smoke cigarettes?
Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Do you feel confident in your body image?
Are you a virgin?
Do you like to dance?
Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Have you ever cheated on someone?
Have you ever been arrested?
Do you ever wear heels just for the hell of it?
Do you like country music?
Rage, impulsivity and failure to get worked up about the things they normally do, oppositional but with less verve and energy
Isolation, binge eating and lethargy, a sense of 'me against the world', less patience, easier to enrage
Silence, nerves, over thinking, easily distractible and seems 'elsewhere'; they are fairly intolerable to sadness they tend to detach/dissociate from feelings after a short while
Teariness, neediness, isolation, binge eating, crying after insignificant events, stomach aches, a feeling of separation from everyone around them
Obvious displays of stress, they become like a wound up string and as if they are on the brink of a nervous break down. Short tempered and needy (only around close friends/family)
Isolation, heightened compulsions (cleaning, washing hands more etc;), unresponsive in conversations, at time blunt and more oppositional
General feeling of instability/moodiness, reduced urge to socialize/be with friends, hopelessness, a feeling of being disliked/rejected by everyone, you can sense them 'trying' to be happy and keep composed
Isolation, opposition, hostility and violent mood swings. Intense melancholy with at times delusions and paranoia. Thoughts even scary to them, a sense of 'me against the world'.
Lethargy, escapism (substance use etc;), uncharacteristically more serious and tense, less tolerance, feelings of worry when thinking into the future
Demotivation, lethargy, hopelessness, over thinking, they seem tense and 'overly alert', hyper vigilant, force themselves to 'go through the motions', nothing impresses them
Uneasy, harder to 'reach'; as if they are far away. Silence, isolation, detachment, even though they try to appear happy. Distractible
Teariness, anxiety, isolation, when they feel sadness they tend to feel 'all at once', nerves, obsessive/ruminating thinking, hopelessness, despair, lethargy
Totallyyyyy when I’m telling them how I feel. (I don’t think any of my acting friends ever keep tabs on my Tumblr but inb4 “you look in people’s eyes when you’re acting” NO NOT THE SAME THING, THAT IS NOT THE SAME THING.) There have been way too many times where I’ve laid myself bare and gotten burned for it. I’ll be as open as I want or need to be, despite that, but maintaining strict eye contact the entire time makes me feel extra naked. I notice I rely on gesture a lot in times like those. Makes me feel more secure. Kind of like how you throw fists up if you are anticipating a boxing match at any second. XD
suckmydachshund asked: TAG. YOU’RE IT. The rules are to state 10 random facts about yourself. Then, go to your 10 favorite blogs and tell them they’re it. :) Your'e my number one tumblr crush??
Am I your #1 for realllllllll??? XD
10 Random Factoids About Bren
1.) I am a 5’3” flimsy ragdoll of a girl. Also I think the fact that I have had to resort to a lot of walking since the death of my car has made me lose weight; I WAS 120 lbs. and now I’m 113… And that actually concerns me a little bit, I don’t know???
2.) I am left-handed and left-handed people are amazing in every single way~~~ BUT I wish I was fully ambidextrous. That would be boss.
3.) I have a birthmark on my buttcheek… XD
4.) I used to have a navel piercing, but took it out at the suggestion of my piercer because it was starting to show signs of rejection… T~T I haven’t given up hope, though! My honey’s older brother’s fiance got hers repierced after the same thing happened to hers and the second time around was a charm; I’m hoping the same will happen with mine~
5.) I have a pet black cat who I adopted from a rescue because I’m kind-hearted like that. His adoption papers have him listed as Chococat in honor of the Sanrio character, but over time his name has morphed into Choco or Chocobean (and a number of Chocowhateveryoucanthinkofs XD). He is remarkably dog-like, for a cat, and he is extremely obnoxious. It annoys me, and yet I love him for it. XD
6.) Two of the places I applied to for work over the past few months have closed down… :s I’m sad about it too; they were a couple of clothing boutiques. It sort of hurts to see them all locked up with bars on their windows… I hope I didn’t curse them or something.
7.) I have not had ice cream in over 4 months. MUST REMEDY THIS.
8.) I am trying really hard to convince my honey to go to Super Charburgers, but he won’t because all he can think about is black lumpy burgers. BUT THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TO GOOOO. XD
9.) In the Great Vamps. Vs. Wolfies Debate of Forevertimes, I always side with Wolfies. I like the very blatant duality between man and beast, I guess~ (Special Note regarding the SPN Liveblogging: That may or may not be why the “Heart” episode totally slayed me. I can never listen to “Silent Lucidity” the same way, again. That song USED to be able to put me to sleep; now it just makes me mourn. XD)
10.) My blog sort of kind of only effectively shows a small chunk of myself and what fandoms I’m into… I did a better job of showcasing my chaotic interests way back when, but pretty much since the summer my blog has sort of been filtered down into a mass of personal posts, AS fandom ponderings, and most recently SPN liveblobbles. XD But there is honestly a whole other smattering of fandoms and interests that I have… Some key ones: Dir en grey, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Sailormoon, The Tudors, The Borgias, Japanese fashion (everything from mori kei to lolita to outright manba gyaru), the cute, the creepy, the CREEPYCUTE XD (think Junko Mizuno), and even the outright gory. It’sssssss kind of a crazy and chaotic world, inside my head… O.o
Anonymous asked: what exactly do you mean by saying you're "semi-whitewashed"?
I am legit surprised this is the first time anyone has asked me anything pertaining to my disclaimer on my page…! XD
"Semi-whitewashed" is a reference to the fact that I am largely considered white-passing (I find that it’s only white people who think I’m NOT white-passing) and the fact that I was raised in like a 95% white town, in a family where a lot of my Mama’s ethnic background was essentially watered down. An example of this would be language: My Mama never taught me Aklanon out of this… I guess concern that it would have an effect on my ability to learn and speak English.
However, growing up in a 95% white town often got me singled out as “that ethnic chick.” Like legit people had a way of regarding me like “that Asian girl.” And I honestly don’t even LOOK all that Asian if you ask me. I look rather Latina, though… it’s a hapa, half-white/half-Asian thing that seems to happen a lot, I’ve noticed…
Moving OUT of a 95% white town and into cities that are much more ethnically diverse has helped a lot in me kind of reidentifying who I am, racially speaking. Back in the hometown it was all too disturbingly easy to just listen to the nonverbal cues I got from everyone around me and just BE “that Asian girl.” But that’s not really correct to say about myself, not really. A half of me is white, and I was raised in a very “white bread America” kind of household, even if there WERE little touches of my Mama’s culture mixed in, and that’s something I shouldn’t be ignoring, either.
It’s just me being very blunt and perhaps harsh about my own origins, in short. It is what it is and I am who I am, even if it doesn’t sound particularly pleasing.